Imagine taking The Time Traveler’s Wife and Kate & Leopold, adding some turn-of-the-century ambiance and Superman himself, and you’ll be watching Somewhere in Time. You’ll also most likely fall asleep a few times throughout the whole thing, wondering where your time has gone.

The film stars Richard Collier (Christopher Reeve), a playwright who receives a pocket watch from an insanely old lady after one of his shows. He’s naturally mesmerized by this and seeks out all information on this mysterious lady. Upon investigation, he learns she is none other than famed actress Elise McKenna (Jane Seymour), who was one of the best. The only problem: her reign happened in 1912. And it’s 1972.

After rummaging through a hotel’s attic (because hotel staff let people rummage through their attics), Collier finds a register book from 1912 and holy moly, Batman! There’s Collier’s name with the 1912 date.

Collier finally figures out that time traveling is possible and makes a move to go back to 1912. Surprisingly, McKenna has no idea who he is when he shows up at her theatre. The rest of the movie follows Collier wooing McKenna, trying to make her fall in love with him. But alas, pumpkins don’t stay carriages forever, and Collier realizes his time with McKenna is quickly approaching its end.

Let’s remember, McKenna sees a man time travel in front of her, yet she hasn’t seen a television, felt air conditioning, or colored with crayons. But she’s seen a man evaporate into thin air! The love story of the film was okay, and yes, Christopher Reeve was a total babe, but the film’s complete lack of any basis of reality is a bit of downer and makes the viewer seem completely detached from the film. And McKenna’s soft-spoken voice (literally, compared to Reeve’s voice, she’s a faint whisper) makes it hard to stay engaged throughout the piece.

W.F. Robinson (Christopher Plummer) is McKenna’s agent, who seems to have a major crush on the lass. Scenes with him and Collier are hilarious since Collier just towers like a giant over him (probably has everything to do with the Superman physique).

If you’re looking for a film for background noise, this is probably a good bet. There’s some stellar musical score going on there. Other than that though, there doesn’t seem to be anything worth this movie’s time.

Some trivia facts for your next event: William H. Macy and George Wendt make their film debuts in Somewhere in Time.

Hanna Soltys is a green tea drinker and film critic living in Chicago.

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